I wish I could go and never come back. Never look back. But never look back at what that is the question. It’s like Hamlet asking to be or not to be? To look or not to look? But what am I looking for or looking at or not looking at? I can’t look at myself in the mirror cause I don’t recognize the monster there. The monster there staring back… I shudder. Exce me for mistpng words; I’m shivering. I’m shivering from my cold soul. I cover it up with smiles and laughs. Laughs that are loud that are so loud that are loud that are so loud that you never you never forget them. They repeat in your head. Echoes in day. Annoyances in the night. My laugh is a coverup. My smile is a band aid. I’m the best actor you’ve ever seen. I wish I could go and never come back.
Invictus William Ernest Henley
Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.